“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” This is an impactful quote by C. S. Lewis. We are often so heavily distracted by others’ opinions that our actions are motivated by the need to be liked or accepted. This need is a great influence on the goals we pursue. Once we become empowered by who we are and what pursuits are truly meaningful to us, we build a base upon which to progress. Our why is the key to thinking of ourselves less. If we focus on our unique mission and purpose, the focus is not on what others think of us but rather on what value our abilities can bring to others.
There are many scenarios that we encounter in which thinking too much about ourselves and what others think of us derails our performance. For instance, stage fright is a major factor in performing, whether you’re an artist, speaker, or sales rep, or even on smaller scales of day-to-day interaction. How often does the fear of others’ perception impact your actions? Once you’ve answered this question, how often have you gone to sleep at night or woken up in the morning thinking about the actions of someone who has zero impact on your life? My guess is not often. So why exactly do we focus so much on what other people think of us?
Your why should be the fuel behind your motivation. If I’m speaking to a crowd and my focus is completely on my audience gaining insight from my message, I’m not distracted by performance anxiety. Similarly, if I’m a sales representative and my focus is completely on my customers understanding how my solution can solve their challenge, I’m now in a position for success as opposed to allowing unnecessary nerves to impede my progress. The goal is to shift our mind from thinking of ourselves to thinking of the task at hand. To become a master at performing under pressure, we must reach a point where outside pressure doesn’t exist.